Straitjacket Feeling
by Christina-Markie
Summary: Would you take it back? Regrets are only for those intimidated by fear. But once you take fear away it only is loneliness. Haley is forced to confront her fear after six years of mysterious actions. NaleyLaleyfriendship or other, Brucus, Jeyton, and other
1. STRAITJACKET FEELING

Background: Haley and Nathan are not involved and thus not married. Everything stands as is with OTH. I don't want to say to much so without further delay, enjoy!

IF I COULD REACH THE SKY, I'D BRING HER RIGHT BACK HERE INTO YOUR ARMS

Her breath caught in her throat. It was horse and forced out rough with raspy whispers. Her heart silenced but picked up the missing beats quickly after. She let out a held breath as her eyes darted; side to side; up and down. Searching for someone to curse. Alone. That was where she stood.

Six Years Before..

She smiled as she let out her final breath. The silence stood as the moment hovered in her glory. Soon it was overcome by the roar. Not a true roar for any global superstar but a hometown devotion for a friend, sister, citizen and student. Her lonely thoughts were broken from the sound of her friend addressing the crowd. She smiled one last time and waved a hand which soon fell back down to guide her down the stairs. Not really known for her grace, embarrassment following another amazing performance was not going to bring a smile to her face. Her shoes, that were just a bit too high for her tonight, clicked rapidly as she was embraced into a pair of strong arms. He kissed her forehead as she smiled with a cute shrug.

"Hales that was your best yet!" Came a compliment towards Haley. She shrugged and clicked her left heel up as her eyes glanced upward.

"Thank you but really it wasn't…" She started humbly.

"Don't be so modest Hales." Haley's eyes looked up to the voice. "You were as beautiful as ever and blew away everyone. You keep getting better and better. You're gonna go somewhere someday with that voice." His arm laid protectively across her waist. She bit her lip as a small smile came to her lips.

Six Years Later…

Her breath caught in her throat. It was horse and forced out rough with raspy whispers. Her heart silenced but picked up the missing beats quickly after. She let out a held breath as her eyes darted; side to side; up and down. Searching for someone to curse. Alone. That was where she stood. Silence faded and cheers became powerful. She gave a weak smile as her nervous habits became soft and slowly disappeared. She gave a fading wave and disappeared from sight. Those high heels from six years before were now the usual uniform. Her congratulations were given to her from a few nameless faces while her embrace remained in a pair of manly arms. She nuzzled into his chest finally feeling her sense of loneliness dwindle but she knew it was merely being masked.

ONLY DRIFTING INTO A PEACEFUL BREEZE

The view captured her in the review mirror. It was the finally goodbye of many. She had grown numb to the feeling by now. It was merely part of her spirit. Everything happens for a reason unless of course you decide to run from fate in rebellion. That was her story. Running or as she called it drifting by a breeze. It was a lie. A fake. She did not measure up to her old self. That other Haley was stronger, wiser, better, not a fake and defiantly not lonely.

Sometimes she searched for that girl. The girl who she had known her entire life until August 17th 2006. she likes to think it was at 6: 54 PM but it would have been earlier. It all depends on who interfered with her thoughts at the time.

Never had someone's sense of identity been so destroyed. Had she known of her fate or lack there of, before her state of being might have been intercepted. But that's what one may think. Obviously that person has never come from a southern town.

Whoever said 'Home is where your heart is' was defiantly getting royalties as her curses through stomping feet sent a hidden message to their grave. Everything comes back to where you learn who you really are. For Haley James-Scott, that person was still left there.

TODAY I'M FINE WITHOUT YOU

Numb was a common feeling. Physically, he was very present. But emotionally, mentally, his body drove away from any sense of connection. Many things in his life had become ironic. How was he to guess that he would be in his current state six years ago? Was the world punishing him? Was he meant for something more or less? Everything seemed motionless in his life or was it just him that stood still while he was surrounded by life. Curses to the man who made life a lonely road. Today, he was fine …that was before he opened his eyes, if that really counts. Almost one can presume. But one has quickly learned from this man's journey that almost doesn't count.

He remembered so well that day six years ago. Time stood still for that moment. It hovered and remained his prison. Had he known would it have made a difference? Would it have changed his path to become the man who looks back at him in the mirror? Regrets are for those who have no hope. He was in good company then. Regrets were his life. Had he done something to change his path he might have been waking up to a beautiful face next to him. Now he constantly wonders, 'what's the point?'

SHORT FALL FROM GRACE

Life is unexpected. It can change and alter within a second. It was something that was inalienable to him. Without it all it might have been nothing but with him it was pointless. Honesty was another one of those things that surprised him. It has always been praised for its good nature and the ability to solve any situation. For him, it just took his last breath away. Had he known of this at that time six years ago, things would have matured and been different. Or not. Everything happens for a reason right. Fate has a strange way of catching up to you. Every curse turns into a blessing. He had read enough spiritual inspirational crap in greeting cards he was given by his friends. Sometimes you have to let life pass you by in order to find that killer hand to win the game.

He wasn't numb, he was very much alive. Had he chosen a different path he may not be here. His spirit was broken but no one was aware. He only knew of his outward exterior. That's all that mattered to him. Things don't change that easily for him but sometimes they need to be forced in a certain direction. Like learning a new habit. It doesn't just happen, it takes force for it to stick. But when you try to get rid of that habit, it is harder and more force and determination is needed to kick the dirty habit. She had been his habit. He had overcome her.

YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE IF YOU JUST RUN AWAY

She wasn't running. She was here and now. She wasn't going to be elsewhere, she was meant for her past as now she had returned. The only variable was whether she would be embraced as she was six years ago. It is strange sometimes how the smallest things bring you back to the place you fear the most. She had once feared the lights and sounds of the stage but soon she grew to welcome it as it was her passion. But sometimes those lights brought her back to that one place that she feared the most. She stood there now but without the lights and sounds. She felt safe despite being in enemy territory. Things were always less intimidating in the daylight. She wiggled her toes in her flip flops. Her jeans sat comfortable on her hips and through her legs with just enough room in them. Her casual tee brought her back to her usually style that she proudly claimed as her own in this town. All of the appeal of her new self was gone. She was simply herself. She was in search of that Haley that was left behind. Maybe it would recognize her like this then as her alter-ego.

"There's a 2 drink minimum before you can hit the stage." A set of bouncy curls yelled at Haley from a corner of the room. Haley timidly stepped down from the stage and approached the voice.

"Then give me 2 shots of Southern Comfort chica!" Haley said as she slapped her right hand on the bar counter. The ring that remained on her figure made a clanging noise. Haley lightly bit her top lip fully before releasing a smile to the woman.

"Nice to finally put a face to that distant voice of yours." The blonde said as she jumped the bar counter. She embraced the old friend. Haley released a breath within the arms of the embrace. The first since her return. And the only one that had felt truthful in the past six years.

"It's so good to see you Peyton. You have no clue how it feels to be here. Thank You." Haley said within her arms.

Peyton pulled back. "Thank you for what?" Her eyebrow arched.

"For the spare key" Haley proudly pronounced with it in hand. Her gleaming smile faded into a sincere glaze over her watery eyes. "and for you know…bringing me back here. Thank you for bringing me back to my life. Thank you for helping me realize my faults. I know it hasn't been easy for you at all."

Peyton ran her hands up and down her friend's arms in comfort. "Everyone needs an angel. I was just filling in…" Haley opened her mouth to speak in protest but Peyton went on. "I mean that you deserve to have a past life. Just don't let it die out. It could be too late too soon."

Haley noticed Peyton's absent eyes. "I'm so sorry about everything Peyton. I know I wasn't around when J…it happened." Haley replaced her words. "there is a lot I need to face up to while I'm here." Haley's eyes turned absent.

"It's okay, it has been a while so I have learned to deal with it. But you were there for me more so then anyone else. I guess that's why I've been able to forgive you. Weird I know, since when is Peyton Sawyer the type to forgive a person so easily. But anyways…" Peyton looked off towards Haley's distant eyes. It focused on the single microphone stand that stood on the edge of the stage. "You're not alone you know."

Haley's eyes focused back to her friend. Her bottom lip pressed between her teeth. "how are they?" Her voice was small.

Peyton didn't expect her to ask. She hadn't asked her through the two years of secret friendship they shared. She spoke quietly to the small girl. "They are different now. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. We were all put through the ringer that day." Peyton looked off again while Haley only nodded.

"Look, how about we get some food? See Karen again? Start off slow sound good?" Peyton broke the hovering silence.

Haley looked down as her old white sneakers. She nodded as a hair feel into her eyes. She shook her head back as her eyes watered slightly. She shut her eyes in hopes that she would wake up. But she didn't. this was her life, how could she screw it up so badly? Oh yes, now she remembered how she severed a heart into pieces and watched as another broken in front of her eyes. She looked on as someone feel into a downward spiral and another transformed themselves into something they couldn't control. And all she did was run away.

"Com'on Hales, let's go." Peyton said as they sat in front of Karen's Café. She released a deep breath slowly and hesitantly stepped forward.


	2. IT ENDS TONIGHT

The surroundings had changed. The forward design Deb designed over six years ago was beginning to grow. There was still a 'home' feeling in the air. It was like she never left. She filled her lungs with the sweet aroma of the home cooked food. She closed her eyes as she took it all in. She slowly glanced around the Café, turning her body away from Karen at the time.

A petit brunette woman noticed the blonde who was leaning into her back pockets of her jeans. "Hey Peyton. How are you?" Her smile gleamed upwards.

Peyton walked up to the kind woman. "Hey Karen. I'm really good actually." Peyton's smile was wide as she nodded her head.

Karen's eyes went slightly wide with surprise. "Gosh, I haven't seen you smile so big in a while. What's got you so happy?" Karen said.

Peyton took a sigh inwards. "Things are changing for the better I think." She looked over to her right. Her head slowly glanced backwards at her old friend who still stood by the door. "Umm…" Peyton swallowed hard as she felt Haley's dry lump in her throat subconsciously appearing in her own. "There is someone here I think you should talk to."

Karen looked around the Café. Her eyes went wide in anticipation. "Well…who is this person?"

"Hmm, one second." Peyton stepped backwards and towards the backwards Haley. "So" she whispered. "You ready for this? Or are you just gonna leave it all behind again?" Haley's eyes gave her a deadpanned look. "Sorry." Peyton interjected softly. Slowly Haley nodded before Peyton stepped forward to Karen again. Karen stood dumbfounded for a moment as the mysterious girl remained turned away.

Haley let out her held breath and looked over her shoulder first, then turned on her heels to face the woman who had been like a second mother. Her lip biting habit was now in full affect as her bottom lip seemed swollen. Her eyes darted over the Peyton as she stepped up to plate.

"Hi, I'm Karen. Nice to meet you." Karen proudly greeted ignoring the shocked faces on both the girls' faces.

The awkward silence stood for a moment. "Karen—" Peyton started.

"Hi…" Haley's voice was small and shy. Her shoulders eased down with a small breath was released. Her hazel eyes locked as her lips perched together.

Karen swiftly ran around the counter and stood before the girl who was now a woman. She reached for her shaking fingers and held them in her hands. Her hair laid down her back and on her shoulders in layers. The dark colour was closer to her natural roots then her blonde locks once countered. Her health glow still remained on her face.

Haley weakly smiled to the woman. Karen soon embraced her in her arms. Haley closed her eyes trying to brace back her tears that she hadn't shed for years. Karen rocked side to side as Haley felt like she was coming home finally.

"I missed you Hun. What took you so long?" Karen said leaning back from the intimate moment.

Haley raised her eyebrows was a quick smile. "Sorry. It's just…feels so good to be home."

"I bet." Karen nodded before finally hugging her again. "Well you must be hungry. What do you want, on the house?" Karen said returning to her post.

"Um, how about some home made Mac and Cheese, for old times." Haley smiled taking a seat on the stool.

Karen laid her hand on top of Haley's. "Of course." Karen said disappearing.

"So how did that feel?" Peyton asked with a smile voice of comfort.

Haley looked at her through the corner of her eyes. She left out a sigh as she turned to face her friend. "Amaz…" Haley started but faded. She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "Like home." She whispered. Peyton smiled before bringing her into a side hug. The both let out a small giggle before Haley was able to smile like herself again.

Maybe everything would be this easy. She hoped and dreamed it would. But everyone knows that dreams and hopes are only pipe dreams. She wasn't going to let her insecurities cause doubt.


	3. Too Far Gone

YOU FORGET WHERE THE HEART IS…

The masculine body struggled to pull himself out of bed as early afternoon broke through his windows. His hand rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he surveyed the situation around him. A female body entwined in sheets lay restfully with her bare back exposed. He sighed deep in his throat while shutting his eyes tight. Maybe for a moment he hoped it would all go back to a different time and place. A time where a honey blonde girl stood below his chin and would lovingly lay in his arms. As his eyes opened again to the sun, nothing changed. It was the same room, same look, same smell, same everything since the day when everything changed. Six years of his life had been this way, and sadly he had forgot how he used to be. It was all meaningless now. He was who he now is. Nothing can take back the past. Now as twenty-four year old man, he had no stability and no one to come home too. His life had become an unfortunate turn of events.

HOW'S YOUR LIFE? WHAT'S IT LIKE THERE?

A similar masculine body laid back in his old beat up couch. It was a faded black that had grown old with the turbulent times of his life. Mid afternoon dawned and he had remained in the same position since waking up on the whither couch. His navy blue sweatpants hung low on his body with an old white tee shirt laying on his upper body in a baggy style. He brought the tee shit up to his face and took the smell in. his eyes closed for a moment as the scent hovered. He swallowed a lump in his throat before opening his eyes slowly and subconsciously reaching to his left. He always held a hope but it could have just been a habit of his by now. Experts say it takes three weeks to develop a habit. The three weeks after 'her' had been extremely rough. It had sadly sent him up for six years of disappointment, or endless hope. Matters on what you choose to be your path in life based on your optimism. Frankly, he didn't have any of that left. So he was stuck in his ways. Some may pity him. Sympathy was slowly killing him. He was just looking for a way to set himself free. Unfortunately the reason for the sympathy he received would be the thing that would set him free.


	4. WELCOME HOME YOU

Haley had enjoyed the small town solitude for her morning so far. Peyton had to go handle some details at work so after a breakfast with Karen she began to wonder around the small southern town. Two hours of walking had lead her to a familiar door. The small details had remained the same despite her absence. Her steps were heavy leading up to the place she once called home. She reached up to knock but caught herself. She bit her lip as she reached up to her tip toes to grab the spare key that was obviously hidden above the doorframe. Her right shoulder rolled up and back as she turned the lock and entered the house. Placing her purse down the on bench the stood to her left she felt nostalgia running through her veins. She walked through the hallway towards the family room. It had always held some of her best memories.

The pictures of all her brothers and sisters lined the walls. A section dedicated the graduation pictures ran parallel with the mantel that dawned pictures of extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins and among them were a few pictures of her second family. The pairs of crystal blue eyes shot through her like darts. she pulled her bottom lip in and brought her tongue over it smoothly. She reached up towards the picture frame that laid in front of her. It was a group shot of her friends at her graduation formal. Peyton had the largest smile on her face while she was pulled tight into a pair of loving arms. Haley was facing forward as her boyfriend at the time mirrored her posed closely behind her. Lastly, her best friend leaned into their date's body. A smile came to her face as she remembered that night. But the smile soon faded as she remembered how she tarnished that image so quickly just months later. She put the picture back quickly after picking it up. She bit the side of her lip as she pulled her hair behind her ear.

She turned on her heels as she looked at her feet that soon carried her to the kitchen of her house. Working as a waitress had given her a strong sense of home and cooking. It's an odd quality she learned being a waitress. She opened the refrigerator and cabinets in curiosity. Growing up the youngest of a big family meant constant running to the grocery store for the necessities. She was pleased with the selection. As usual, her favourite Mac and cheese in three different flavours remained in her designated spot. She shut the cabinet doors with a smirk on her face. She began to hum softly to herself as she played with her fingers across the countertop.

"Can I help you?" A voice came from behind her. Haley's eyes stopped still as her humming and playful attitude disappeared. The voice was softer then her brothers or her father. It was clearly a man's voice that seemed confused and offended. Haley pushed her hair behind her ears and let her hands stream down the now dark locks. She pushed her lip to the side as she pierced her teeth through it. Apprehensively she turned towards her unexpected fear.


	5. I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE CHANGING

"Hi…" Haley winced out slowly. "I was just…" Haley started to ramble but caught herself. "Wait…what are you doing here?" She pointed out.

"I'd ask you the same thing, that's if I already didn't know." He swallowed out as he crossed his arms. Haley sunk back into her heels again. She blinked and let her eyes peek out the corners as she opened them again. "I'm house-sitting for the James'" he added.

Haley nodded once as she looked towards the ground. "You grew up a bit huh?" She asked in a small tone.

"And you returned to your roots…" He let it linger. "Finally." Haley looked up with a smile as the man mirrored it. "Nice to see you Haley."

He greeted her with a warm hug. "Same to you to Mouth." She stepped back from the moment. "Whoa, someone has seriously done some growing up. You got some pipes there buddy." Haley smiled.

"Yeah…" Mouth playfully grinned. "Um…I've been working out with Nathan for a while now."

Haley felt a pang of guilt stab through her. "Urm…that's great for you." She hid her emotions. "So, how long until my parents get back?"

"A couple more weeks. They went to go visit your sister…Quinn?" Mouth remembered. "In Seattle." Haley nodded. "They took the RV."

"Oh yes, the RV" Haley smiled as she took a side step closer to Mouth.

"Yeah, so I'm kind of staying here, but with you here now, I don't think I will be needed." Mouth started to step backwards.

"Wait Mouth?" Haley called.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm sure my mom will be happy to have me home again." He stated avoiding her eyes.

"Mouth, don't be silly. It would be great to have you here with me. Plus, this house is huge and I'm used to having somebody else here with me. And, if you stay I can surprise my parents when they come back." Haley said quickly in an optimistic tone.

Mouth smiled at her individual personality. "You haven't changed Haley."

Haley smiled. "Thanks, so you're staying?" Haley eyes became wide with a smile.

Mouth smiled under his breath. "Yeah, anything for a stranger." He added.

"Hey!" She flicked his chest lightly.

"You know, I have bulked up. You can hit me harder then that." Mouth added.

"Don't tempt me buddy." Haley smiled.


	6. I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME

Peyton scribbled a few details on to a pad of paper. "urgh…" she sighed deeply as she soon ripped the paper and knew it into the wastebasket.

"P.Sawyer!" Brooke cheerfully called from behind her.

"What do you want B.Davis?" Peyton still remained focused on her work.

"You need to stop killing all those innocent trees. What did they ever do to you?" Brooke bantered.

"Do you want me to answer that truthfully?" Peyton asked.

"Okay, no talk of that." Brooke avoided the subject. "You are one strange girl P.Sawyer, first you come in today, happy as a school girl, even though you were never the happy school girl type, and now you are abusing the helpless little trees."

"Hmm." Peyton mocked with a head tilt.

"It's just…you know how much I have appreciated you help around here at the boutique. If it wasn't for you, I think I may have been out of business a year ago. Thanks to you, I've been able to achieve all my dreams. Thank you." Brooke held her arms up for a hug.

Peyton took her in. "Your welcome girlie."

"Anyways, just another thank you for all your work. You had all the knowledge I needed to run this place. I guess all those years of your broody music and TRIC helped you with something that would benefit me." Brooke smiled quickly. "But" Brooke started again quickly. "Today you went through some serious menopausal moods Curly."

Peyton laughed lightly at her friend. "Just, a reason to smile again I guess."

Brooke smiled proudly. "Good." Brooke finished before looking over her shoulder at the ringing doorbell. She nodded at her friend as she escaped to a customer.

Peyton sighed heavily as she struggled to make sense of all the numbers in front of her. Her math skills weren't great but they were better then Brooke's. Plus this was simple accounting math in front of her. Anyways, this was her job now.


	7. DON'T WAIT

Mouth and Haley sat across from each other at the James' kitchen table. Haley leaned on her elbows while playing with her spoon as it danced in her tea cup. Mouth's fingertips dashed on the opposites of each other while he leaned on his elbows.

"So, you went to Boston College right?" Haley remembered from her high school days.

Mouth nodded. "Yep, graduated two years ago. Majored in sports medicine. I still wanted to keep my dream alive of announcing. I worked a bit with the local high schools and for a couple state teams. But I'm going back to school in the fall. I decided to become a doctor since the announcer thing just wasn't in the cards for me." Mouth finished.

Haley's heart sunk for him. "Oh, I'm sorry Mouth, I mean it's great for you to be going to Med School, Wow! But sorry you had to give it up, you know."

Mouth nodded. "Yeah, thanks. So what about you runaway?" Mouth tried to joke as she sipped her tea

She swallowed the steaming liquid. "Um…after the whole ordeal, I left. Went to go stay with a couple of my sisters and brothers. I helped them out for a bit. Then after a year, I decided to go back to school. I went to University of Kentucky and studied Literature and Music. I took a few summer courses so I was able to graduate early. Then I got my teaching degree. I worked as a substitute teacher for a bit then did some odd jobs. Now I'm back here." Haley finished with a small sip of her tea.

"Mhmm." Mouth nodded. "If you don't mind me asking Haley…" He trailed as Haley put her cup down and nodded at him encouragingly. "Why come back? You left it all for reasons only be nonce to yourself, and now you're back."

"You're the first person to ask that Mouth and for some reason I didn't expect it from you…" she said scratching her neck. "But I do owe everyone an answer." Haley said slowly. "A lot of things happened around the time that surprised me Mouth. I left …" Haley tried to form words but failed.

"Don't feel obligated to give me an answer now Haley. In fact, I didn't even ask you to tell me why you left. I can understand the desire to breakout from everything you have ever known." Mouth said with apologetic eyes.

Haley smiled earnestly. "Thank you." She softly said. Mouth offered her a giving smile. She starred off for a moment. "You can just never run from home can you…" she started looking towards Mouth again. "As much time as I spend running and no matter what I do, my home will always be here. Despite all the horrid memories they are accompanied with beautiful ones." Mouth nodded as her positively. "Thank you Mouth. It's funny how one of the first people I became friend with is one of the first I return home too. In my home nonetheless." Haley added with a smile and a shrug.

Mouth gave her a wide grin. "Funny how life turns out sometimes, huh?"

"Yep, definitely." Haley reciprocated.

"YO MOUTH!"


	8. DON'T CONFESS

HI EVERYONE, I REALLY WANT TO GET MORE SUPPORT FOR MY STORIES, SO I NEED AT LEAST 5 REVIEWS BEFORE I CONTINUE. THANKS.

"Yo Mouth!" Yelled a voice from the screen door the separated Haley from the outside world. The hallway seemed like a journey too close yet too far for her to risk. Haley closed her eyes and just wished her lucky stars that she could take it all back and wake up. She counted to five then opened her eyes. No hope for her now.

"Who is it?" Haley mouthed to Mouth across the table. In the back of her mind, she knew who it was. She only hoped that he hadn't come so soon. He peered over his shoulder and titled his chair back. He mirrored a sympathetic look at her after.

Haley's voice got caught in her throat. She shook her head. No! She wasn't ready for this. She knew it would come but she wasn't ready. She never was going to feel ready to deal with this part of coming home.

"Hey man! You gonna ever answer the door or are you going to keep munching on the free food? Whatever, I'm just coming in." The voice came from the front door. Soon, the sound of the door shutting echoed through the empty home.

Haley looked around hastily for an escape route. The smart ass contractors of her house left her with only one way. With her kitchen being in the back of the house she was left to go outside and pray to God that he wouldn't peak out the windows.

As he listened to the loud slam of the door behind him he noticed a large black purse sitting on the door bench. He eyed it for a moment then grinned to himself. "Does he ever give it up?" He softly said with a smirking sigh. "Entertaining the ladies I see!" He called again as he began to take his muddy sneakers off.

Haley's eyes bugged as she tried to quietly get out of her chair. 'Go' she gestured to Mouth with her whole upper body. The sliding doors to the backyard laid in clear view of the guest if he were to look up for just a moment. 'I need to get out' Haley pointed. 'Distract him'.

Mouth caught on and nervously left the table. As much as he had been working out, there was no way his body could shelter her. He outstretched his arms and took the broad shoulders in a hug. "Hey!" He said trying to his best to move the slightly larger body in a 180-degree rotation. "Haven't seen you in a while." He remained tight with the friend as he managed to turn his back towards Haley while she was able to escape to the backyard.

He grabbed Mouth by the shoulders and pushed him back. "You saw me last night, and you talked to me this morning. In fact, you told me to come over."

Mouth nodded. "Oh yeah, right."

"Anyways, so what have you been up to buddy? I see you have been keeping yourself busy?" He smiled as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"What?" He tensed his brows as his friend pointed out the lone black purse by the door. Mouth nodded as he subconsciously shot himself in the foot. "You know." He added with a sly grin.

His friend chuckled. "Sure I do." He hit him on the arm. "So what you got here anyways?" He turned towards the kitchen cabinets in search of food. He spotted a package of Oreo cookies and grabbed a handful as he retreated to the table. He sat down and noticed the tea cup. "Never knew you were the type for tea my man?" He pointed out with a smile.

"Um, yeah. Trying something new I guess." Mouth grabbed the cup quickly. But not quick enough for he noticed to sparkly pink lip stain on the cup. "So, you wanna get out of here?" He directed to the door.

"Nah, you got an air-conditioned house right here for free. It boiling out like no tomorrow." He shrugged off as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth.

"Yeah well I…" Mouth trailed

"Hey man, sit down, stay awhile." He joked as Mouth felt the nervous energy continue to rise. He took a seat as he used a different angle to pear for Haley. "You okay? I think that girl messed you up a bit?" He noticed with fierce eyes.

"Yeah, guess so." He smiled playfully.

Haley leaned against the brick way as her chest heaved up and down. Up and down. She could over hear them talking. His voice still sounded the same. Husky and deep. His boyish tone was still there when he laughed. She could hear it in his voice. But somehow his voice just wasn't enough after six years. She let her curiosity get the better of her as she felt her heart pace get faster. She peered her head over and peaked out of the brick wall. A hair fell into her right eye as she starred. He looked experienced but his boyish qualities still resonated. He still had his baby face but it was covered with a little bit of a scruffy look. She liked it. She smiled as her heart sank. She had missed it. She had missed seeing what had transformed him into this. What life changes had occurred that made him into this man she saw before him. 'I'm sorry Buddy' she whispered under her breath finally before hiding her face again.


	9. HOME IS A FEELING A BARELY KNOW

"So who was the lucky lady?" He leaned back into the dining chair.

"Oh, you know. I thought you saw her last night." Mouth played along like a pro, or so he thought. He shrugged. "Or were you too busy with your own things?" He grinned all by himself.

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't." He smiled

"It is not a Friday night unless you got some random girl on your arm." He pointed out and for a moment he smiled but then it faded, as he knew Haley overheard that.

"Whatever man." He played with a small smile. "So the girl forgot her purse? Or is she still here?" His voice became low.

"Oh, she left. Just forgot it I suppose." He answered

He nodded to himself. "Yeah well, I guess it was mutual."

He shook his head with confused eyes. "What?"

"Girls play some serious games my friend. You just wait for her to call you looking for her beloved bag."

"Mhmm." Mouth raised his brows.

"Hey, well I was just hoping you were free tonight." Mouth smiled as he rolled his eyes. The taller friend noticed and held his hands out for a moment of his time. "I know, but its not gonna be like the usual night." He stood out of the chair and opened the familiar cabinet for a glass. He then turned towards the tap and began to fill his glass. "I was thinking about it this morning. How long has it been since we all just hung out at the river court?" He took a sip from the glass.

Mouth knew the answer and he didn't want to utter the words for the sake of the people involved in the conversation. "Too long" he generally stated.

"Exactly." He said as he leaned back on the countertop and rested his arms across his chest. "So tonight, what do you say?"

Mouth paused and directed his gaze just over a few inches. He saw her body as it shook. "Umm, sure." He said softly as he redirected his attention.

"Great. Call anyone you can and I'll talk to you later." He dumped the remaining water out of his glass down the drain and set the glass in the sink. He looked up to turn but caught a glimpse of something. He strained his eyes to focus on the object. 'What the?' the whisper lingered on his lips and in his mind.

"LUKE!" Mouth yelled at the frozen body. His friend shuttered.

"hmm?" He paused.

"Your phone." Mouth directed.

"Oh…" he tried to fish out the ringing object in a startled state. "Hello?" He forced out. "Okay, alright. I'll be there. Bye." He hung up the phone and motioned for the exit. "I gotta head out. Later?" He pointed to Mouth

"Yeah" He stood up and watched his friend leave. "…later" He muttered to himself as he dug into his pockets and listened to the sobs becoming louder.


	10. NOBODY SAID IT WOULD HURT SO BAD

Mouth had remembered his friendship with Haley when they were younger. He knew how she behaved when she was upset. She liked to be alone. Figuring she did just spend six years by herself he thought nothing had changed with her methods. But somehow, he just couldn't leave the James household. He would look out the kitchen window every so often to check on Haley. Every time he peaked at her, she seemed in the same thoughtful state, just her body position had changed. He remained like a supportive and silent column for her as he sat peacefully at the table for twenty minutes. Finally when he felt she would be ready, he poked his head out of the sliding doors. Haley looked over her shoulder and curled her lip up to the side just a tad. Mouth accepted this as an invitation and stepped outside and shut the door behind him. He mentally debated on the best position to talk to Haley about this from. He quickly sat across from her. he felt a face to face encounter would be the best.

"Um, Haley?" He started.

"Don't apologize" She broke with a raspy voice as she avoided his gaze. A moment of silenced hovered before she turned to his eyes. He could see the years of pain and guilt still embedded within them. Now they seemed enlarged and glassy from her emotions. "I'm the person to blame that turned Luke into that shell of a person. I never would of thought he would go back on his mistakes. But clearly he has forgotten the drama that followed the one night stand with Nikki…" She bit her top lip and shook her head. "I'm so sorry Mouth for all that I have done. Peyton told me that things were different here but I would have never figured the one constant thing would be…destroyed."

Mouth nodded, taking in a lot of information in strides. "Welcome home Haley. We missed you. I know I did. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Haley closed her eyes and destroyed the tears that lingered. "Thank you." She softly said in a small whisper.

"So Peyton?" Mouth asked with the unfinished sentence.

Haley nodded. She debated on the story to tell but settled for the truth. She figured it would be for the best and possible avoid the messes of the past. "After Jenny died two years ago, we met up while in New York. I was just singing at this club for some tuition money and she was still trying to find her away after it all. Fate I guess. We found each other when we both needed it the most. Her more than me. We kind of helped each other out for a while. We stayed in touch after she went back home. She was the person that helped me get back here. Home." Haley finished as the last word crawled on her lips.

Mouth knew the whole story wasn't going to be taken well from the others. Peyton hiding such important details as the whereabouts of a beloved and lost friend. As much as Haley had left things in a chaotic state, all her friends she left behind still cared about her. No matter how many unanswered questions and hostile emotions were stored in their hearts. "I'm glad someone was able to show you the way home."

Mouth offered her a smile. "Me too." She smiled back. "Thank you for opening the door." She gratefully smiled with dewy eyes.

"It has always been your home Haley. I'm just glad I was able to be here with open arms."

"Thank you." Haley said as she jumped into his embraced. "Thank you." She whispered again softly.

Mouth knew in his mind that he needed to be there for Haley. Luke, Nate and Brooke wouldn't probably be as forgiving as he was being. They had let their emotions simmer for six years. He feared for her. he didn't know what the future would hold for his old friend. Hopefully she would come out without a broken heart or spirit.


	11. TOO LITTLE TOO LATE

I'M HOLDING ON BUT LETTING GO OF YOU

'Okay, so what was I to do? I was in too deep to take it all back and blame it on a meaningless misunderstanding. Gawd, life really sucks sometimes. How could things get so messed up so quick…I can't believe I didn't see it coming. Karma really is a…' Haley silently let the words echo in her head. Six years later and they still rang turn. Total déjà vu.

She sat in her old room. It still remained the same. Just a few displaced boxes still sat in it that her parents felt had to be placed there for lack of storage. She sat with her back resting against the wall with a small bamboo coloured notebook in her hands. It was the last entry in her journal. She never thought she would be back here again. Karma really does suck.

She peered out her window. The sun was going down. She let out a heavy breath. Mouth had left about in hour ago for the night. He said he would come back tomorrow to check on her. She had spent a silent night thus far, with severally moments of pain from the memories surrounding her. She closed the book and put it on her nightstand. She grabbed an old hoodie and threw it on. She ran out of the house with her MP3 player.

She just walked or ran or jogged. To nowhere in particular. Just away. She felt as though her body was heavier. Her mind was tired from it all. It was like a lifetime piling up.

She got sidetracked in her mind for a while to ignore her path. She soon felt at home looking out at the river at night. The sounds of her music drowned out all her thoughts for just a moment. That moment was bliss. She relaxed for once and felt the air fill her lungs. The song came to an end and she overhead voices behind her. She looked out of the corner of her eye and tried to remain in her relaxed state. She pulled out the ear buds and turned off her distraction. She dug her hands deep into the front pocket of her sweater and turned on her heels.

She gnawed at her side lip for what seemed like forever as she sojourned to them. It was a short journey in reality but she dreaded every inch. She came to a halt just a few short feet from them. "Hi" the greeting came out breathy and quiet. Their eyes locked as their laughter died suddenly. Peyton and Mouth's swallowed hard and torn as both became onlookers to the forthcoming drama. Haley looked at the eyes of her longest friend. They were cold and looked straight through her. Another set of eyes seemed to rise for a moment but soon darted to the ground in pain. A pair of brown eyes strained to look at her straight. "I…" Haley dryly choked out.

"You were just leaving?" The piercing eyes shot out. "I wouldn't put it past you, really. From what I have seen, you could make a living out of it." He bounced the ball hard and shot it into the net.

"It wasn't a planned thing Luc." Haley still remained soft.

"Oh no, you can't expect to come back here and act like that again. Don't call me 'Luc'. Six years Haley. Enough said." He slammed the ball hard into the ashvault and walked off. She looked away towards four faces. Two seemed heartbroken and warning. One seemed confused while the other was broken.


	12. HANGING ON FOR HOPE

"Hi?" Brooke's voice was cautious and meek. The brunette slowly got up from her position on the old bleachers.

"Hey Brooke." Haley tried to regain her composure after the previous incident. Part of Haley wanted to run after him, the other felt she needed to be here right now. Mostly because she was scared of what would happen if she were to run after Lucas in his angry state. She looked past her old friend and saw his eyes. She swallowed hard. "Nathan…" his eyes remained focused on the ground. She heard a heavy sigh from him as he retreated to his car and left it all behind. She winced as the sound of the engine felt like a slap in the face. "I never meant for it all to happen like this…" she said openly.

Mouth kept his eyes focused between Haley and Peyton. He waited for a reaction.

"And you are?" she pointed with the confused look still on her face. Haley was taken back. She had forgotten who she was. Was she playing dumb? Or was she being her old bitchy self? Haley squinted and gave a concerned look to Peyton.

"Brooke, this is Haley. She was a friend of ours in high school." Peyton informed her friend.

Brooke nodded. "Oh, well hi! I'm Brooke, nice to meet you Haley." She embraced her in a tight hug. Haley seemed stiff and shocked still. "OH would you look at the time, sorry but I gotta jet. I got some things to take care of still for work. It was nice meeting you Haley." Brooke grabbed her purse. "See you Blondie, bye Mouth." She waved off during her exit.

"Okay what just happened? Is she on crack? She didn't know who I was? She has got to remember me?" Haley franticly asked as she waved her hands in disbelief.

"She kind of doesn't Haley." Mouth stood up. "Soon after you left, she got into an accident. Lost her memory and it has come back but the doctors told us that she has permanently blocked out horrible memories. You were one of them." He winced with every word. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"Wait, earlier?" Peyton sneered. She turned her body towards the two.

"Um yeah, I met up with Haley today. Since I was housesitting for the James' and she came into her home while I was there. We talked." Mouth finished as he clapped his hand in exasperation on his leg.

Haley remained silent. "You okay Hales?" Peyton remarked.

She shook her head. She pointed behind her. "She doesn't…at all…oh my gawd." She breathing became laboured. "I can't believe this…" Haley sat down on the bleachers as she cradled her head in her hands. "Karma sucks."


	13. SOMEWHERE A CLOCK IS TICKING

Two days had passed since the tragic return that had caused so much drama. Haley was grateful to have Peyton and Mouth to lean on through it all. After trying to compose herself during those days, she felt finally ready to face whatever demons laid waiting for her. She was going in for all or nothing. She thought she might as well start with someone that has meant the most to her for a long time. Someone who sent her into a tailspin after he abandoned her. Mouth had given her the details of where to find everyone. She stood outside the apartment door. Taking a relaxing breath in, she reached up to knock. She waited while she practically bit her lip to death. Her nerves always seemed to get the better of her. She bounced on her heels until he finally opened the door.

"Hi…you are?" An unfamiliar figure questioned her. Her clothes looked ragged from the wrinkles in them and her hair was messy and muddled.

"I'm…" Haley started but was stunned at a near naked Lucas came into her sight.

"Who is it?" he called out from behind the girl's figure. He came up and leaned on the doorframe. He tilted his head and shook his head faintly. A silence lingered before the girl turned to the masculine frame.

"I gotta go. I had plans with friends. Give me a call sometime, again." She pushed her bag higher on her shoulder as she gave him a pleading kiss on his cheek. Haley looked down at her black flip flops. "Bye" the girl waved off to Haley as she walked down the hallway. Haley followed her with her eyes and mentally rolled her eyes. She turned back to see a closing door about to hit her in the nose. Acting quickly, she slid her foot in the doorway.

"I wanted to talk" Haley started.

"Well I clearly don't." Lucas entered the kitchen and poured himself a coffee. "I see tutorgirl didn't catch on to the oblivious last night." He smirked to himself feeling satisfied with his attack.

Haley fully entered the apartment and placed her black purse on the bench by the door. "Look Luc…" Lucas' eyes narrowed. "Lucas." She completed. "We…you just need to hear me out. You have no idea how sorry I am for what I did. It was selfish and wrong. I was young and immature and acting purely on impulse. I never meant to cause such damage that it did."

Lucas sipped the black coffee. "Don't you wish you were physic sometimes huh?" The sarcasm within the room was suffocating. "Where have you been for six years anyways? Wait, I know probably conning people for their money, hearts or their love." His tone was ripping through her.

"You think I wanted this!" Haley spoke up. "I never tried to purposely hurt you. It just happened…and before I knew it, I hurt the people that mean the most to me."

"Meant." He added.

"No mean, you all still mean the world to me." Haley entered the kitchen.

"I don't think it's the same for all of us. Brooke is a basket case. Nathan is every cliché from a romantic novel and me…well you tell me. Who am I?" Lucas twisted the knife already stabbed into her heart.

Haley twiddled her fingers nervously. "You're my best friend, my first love, my partner in crime. You were there for all my firsts. You know everything about me. You have always been, nothing will change that. Right now, you just need an old friend to help you find your way." Haley stepped closer and reached up to his face. "You're my Luc."

Lucas felt a relaxing calm when she spoke. A moment of grace overtook his tortured heart for that place in time. Unfortunately, it was overtaken by his damaged goods. He smacked her hand away from his cheek. "You don't deserve to call me that. You…" His thoughts were broken for a moment as he looked over her shoulder at the familiar black bag that sat by his front door. 

"What?" Haley turned over her shoulder and noticed his attention towards her bag. "Umm…what you looking at?" She questioned nervously. She remembered his comments about her purse before. She lunged to grab it and hide it behind her.

"No." He spoke, shaking his head again. "I've seen this before." He retrieved it from behind her back and examined the bag in his hands. 

"Well from what I hear, you could have seen it on the shoulder of any of your sluts." Haley tried to grab the bag away from him.

He pulled it over his shoulder. "Where did you hear that?"

"Oh…" Haley stumbled. "Just the word, you know…a small town."

"Right." Lucas remarked while stepping back and examining the bag again. He grazed his fingers over the Kentucky State key chain that hung from a zipper. He also gazed at a sketch of red paint near the base of the purse. It was hers. He was sure of it.

Haley was able to snatch it away from his grasp finally. She pulled it behind her securely. "Anyways," She tried to downplay it while straightening her hair from her eyes. "When can we talk?" She smiled politely.

Lucas looked at her apprehensively.

"Okay, I know this is incredible hard for you. But just give me a chance." Haley started.

"And why should I do that?" Lucas leaned into the countertop.

"I'm back in Tree Hill for firsts."


	14. SHE HAS NO TIME

Nathan had remained quiet for a few days following the return from Hell's gates. He had stayed the same physically but if you truly saw into his soul he would never be the same man as he was for Haley. Haley was his, and only his. He lost alot of himself after Haley torn him apart. His soul had faded and it was lost somewhere in their past. He laid in the silence during the middle of the afternoon when Mouth had entered his apartment. He had remained in the same apartment from his high school days. He felt it was too hard to face the reality that her voice was never going to be heard within those walls. Some of her stuff still remained there but they would never replace her for him. His life had become a seriously sad state of affairs, even he would admit it.

"Man, where were you?" Mouth asked but soon looked at the picture of his sad friend.

Nathan cocked an eyebrow then realized his forgetful qualities. He set his head back on the arm of the couch and shut his eyes tight. "My fault Mouth. It's just...I've..." Nathan started as he took in the surroundings of his home. "I've been a little preoccupied lately."

Mouth nodded. "Mhmm." He took in the apartment as well. "No surprise there." He muttered to himself under his breath. "Come on man, you can't just sit here like the Glob. I know this is hard for you but don't you think that if she came back after six years then it would probably be for good reason."

"That's a possibity." Nathan streched out of his lazy position.

"Come on Nate. Nothing is ever completely lost." Mouth said heading over to the fridge for a water. Mouth flashed one to Nathan who returned with a nod as Mouth threw the water into his direction. "She's changed. She knows what happened and she feels horrible. She is willing to work at it to make things better."

"Yeah I guess that is a sign there." Nathan said opening his water and taking a swig back.

"Yeah she is. She already started to make amense." Mouth sincerly added.

"Brooke?" Nathan whip his mouth with the back of his hand while capping his water.

"Lucas actually..." Before Mouth realized how much of a blow it would cause to Nathan the words had already left his mouth.

Nathan's eyes became stern and darted as his friend's words then filled the room.

"Okay, so where were you?" Lucas asked as he became more interested in the rim of his coffee mug. He sat across from her and waited for her to open up her soul.

Haley watched him. He was closed and shallow. He was definately not his old self that she remembered so well. "With family for a while. Then went to school and just got away I guess."

"You made such a dramatic exit I would have thought you would have done at least one thing of interests to inquiring minds." Lucas spat out finally looking up straight into her eyes. They seemed watery or was his conscience playing with his mind.

Haley shrugged, trying her best to pretend that the knife stabbed into her heart hadn't been twisted another 90 degrees. "Since when have I ever done anything of that much interest?" She battered while his eyes looked back down to his coffee. "How about you? How have you been?"

Lucas curled his mouth and spoke. "Went to UNC and finished with my degree. But been kind of working for my mom lately." He avoided her eyes as he sensed her next question.

"So you finished with literature?" Haley assumed. Lucas shook his head disagreeing. Haley brought her brows together. "What happened?" She seemed to lean across the table to reach him.

He pursed his lips together. "Just lost it...I didn't love it anymore then I had."

"I'm sorry." Haley reached her hand across the table to him.

Lucas nodded and smirked his smile. "I guess you should."

Peyton stood infront of the famaliar grave. Her knees were softened when she settled into the grass. "Hi...sorry I haven't been here in a while. Just had some things going on." She tangled her fingers around the flowers that she knew that she loved. "The colours this time of year are beautiful." She settled the flowers up against the gravestone. "You know, I am so sorry for everything. I never meant for this to happen...somethings just got out of control and...I can only blame it on myself." Peyton took a deep breath right down to her toes. "I didn't deserve to have you in my life. I don't know how I could ever...why would I...I'm such a horrible person to have let this happen." Peyton rested her head in her hands and her tears fell. "Oh gosh..." She whipped her tears away after letting a few fall. "I would give anything to go back to my senior year before all of this happened. It was happy times then, even for me...My friend Haley is actually back in town too now. She left after a big falling out with the two infamous Scott brothers. I really hope she is able to face her past...she has been doing good so far. I'm trying to help her just like she did for me." Peyton let out a heavy sigh as she turned to a cross legged position for comfort. "She was there for me after...it all...she took me out of a dark place." Peyton paused for a moment. "You know how sorry I am. I don't think I will ever make it up to you or to anyone." Peyton cried openly. "I'm sorry..."

"Thanks." Peyton froze at the apologetic voice. It sent a chill down her spine. It was the same feeling she always got from his voice.


	15. REGAINING UNCONSCIOUSNESS

"Hi Peyton" His hands dug deep into his pockets as if searching for answers. His eyes focused on the blonde.

"I'm sorry" her voice came out in husky and whispered tones. He nodded as he crossed to stand next to the grave stone. He examined it as he had over a thousand times before. The silence was killing Peyton. "When did you get back?"

"I've been back for a while." He stated not breaking his focus. "I would never leave Jenny."

Peyton stifled a cry. "I know you could never forgive me Jake but...I...itsn't not supposed to be like this." She sobbed. Soon she felt embraced by his arms.

"Shushh, Shusshh" He ran his hand down her straight hair. He lead her over to a nearby bench across the path.

"Sorry, sorry for this. For what I did, what I lost, for making you lose the most important thing in the world to you." Peyton expressed.

Jake took a deep breath in through his nose. "You know Peyton, it took me awhile to grieve. It's okay to be sad, I still am but you know the moment is gone. No matter how many time you say sorry it won't bring her back. Jenny won't smile again or play basketball with me." Peyton sniffled and avoided his eyes. "Or listen to music with you again." She looked up at him and softened her emotional state. "And I won't be able to roll my eyes while we are shopping when she picks out an outfit that screams of you or Brooke." A smile curled on both their lips. He reached for her hand. "It took me awhile to heal, I still am. But Peyton..." he focued her eyes directly on him. "It's gonna be okay, it's no where near easy but ...Peyton I'm sorry I shut you out all this time."

Peyton's heart seemed to become lighter for the first time in a graveyard with those words.

Haley left Lucas' place soon after their talk. She understood that it would take awhile for her to heal all the old wounds but it was a start for her. She started on the second part of her long journey. She seemed to smiling like she used to for the first time in awhile. A smile that really came from long lengths of laughing or from true friends. Truth was that it came from a newfound hope that peace would be found for once and be granted in her life.

"I just don't get it Mouth, why?" Nathan really was misunderstood. He leaned into the island in his kitchen with Mouth sitting on a stool across from him.

"That's her choice man. I mean Luc was her best friend since she was 6. Maybe she feels she deserves it to him." Mouth offered not really knowing the answer himself.

Nathan shook his head and rested his chin in the Thinking Man's pose. Mouth nodded and began to leave. "Sorry man. But she does know where her heart is Nate." Mouth offered his guidence as he stood by the door.

"Thanks Mouth. Sorry about flaking out earlier again." Nathan offered.

Mouth held up his hand and gave an understanding nod before exiting the apartment. Nathan heaved out a heavy sigh before retreating to the shower.

"Peyton I never meant to hurt you with how i dealt with all this. I want you to know that." Jake continued.

Peyton nodded as she remembered that pain she felt she had caused him. She never thought he would be so forgiving about it though. "Jake you don't need to be sorry. You didn't do anything."

"Yes I did." he started with his voice raising slightly to grab her attention. He started softly this time. "I shut you out when I truly needed you the most. I said alot of things to you that I never meant and sometimes I can't believe I said anything like them at all to anyone. I never was there for you and I'm sorry I wasn't."

Peyton nodded once and let silence hover. Jake took this as a rejection. He started to leave but felt a hand grab him by the wrist. "Thank you."

"I'm coming, I'm coming" Nathan yelled to the knocking that hadn't seemed to stopped since he stepped out of the shower. He shook the water out of his ears while nearing the doorknob. "What do you want?" He greeted rudly as he swung the door open.

"Hi..." Haley's voice was soft. Her return had just been like her first to him after the tour. She still felt insecure standing before him even though he was the one in a towel.


	16. RETURN TO ME

"Hi..." She repeated to the silence. She scanned the famailar apartment. It was still the same, even some of her things were still there. "I'm sorry" Haley said still in the doorway.

Nathan didn't hear her. The complete shock still occupied his body, overtaking all his senses. The sound of Haley clearing her throat brought him back down to earth. "Come in." He stammered out. He stepped to the side and managed to find a sweatshirt lying around on the coathooks. He threw it on and realized that he stood in a sweatshirt and towel wrapped stragergically around himself. He silently excused himself as he escaped from the shocking scene. Haley nodded and smiled to herself at his behaviour. She spotted a picture that was on his fridge. Most likely Peyton or Brooke put it there. It was the gang in their graduation outfits. The girls in white and the boys in blue gowns. That life was a lifetime away. She hasn't smiled that big since she left it all.

"Hey." He reappeared in a pair of basketball shorts that seemed well wore and haven't been washed in a while. "How have you been?" He tried to remain open to her.

Haley was taken back at his content mood. "I've been okay, I guess. You?"

"Alright" She seemed to make him feel definately better about himself.

Haley soaked up the awkward silence that seemed to follow her everywhere. "Nate, why did you run off the other night?" Haley asked unsure of herself or what the question would cause.

"Oh." His lips formed the sound. "I don't know." His eyes strained with the answer.

"It's just..." Haley began but stopped when Nathan continued.

"Why?" His eyes floated away. "Six years? It's been that long. Six years, 4 months, 2 weeks, 13 days, 18 hours and 9 minutes. You tell me?" He shrugged. Haley swallowed hard at his devotion to count the time passed. "You know I dreamed of this day. I wished for it. And the only thing I can form out is 'I don't know'...I really missed you Hales" Nathan's eyes focused on her. "I love you still and everyday I wondered if it was enough? Is it? It didn't seem to be for you to stay like you said you would."

"It's enough Nathan. I'm sorry I didn't before. It wasn't supposed to be like this." Haley said reaching for his hand.

"Yeah well maybe it is. It should be you and Lucas together." His rage seemed to rise.

"What are you taking about?" Haley asked in confusion.

"You were there already. I know. But, why wasn't I your first choice Hales? Am I just your safety net? Your number 2 on the list." Nathan said completely from his heart. All those words had been bottled up for six years.

"It has never been like that before." Haley said shaking her head.

"Maybe to you, but for me that's how it's always been. Since you left. That's been all I've thought about and I guess I came to that conclusion, I was just too blind to see it before."

"Nathan, I'm soo sorry." Haley pleaded

Nathan turned away from her face and sighed with his muttered words. "Yeah, me too."


	17. THIS COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

Nathan stood up from his stool and excused himself. "I'm just gonna go grab something for you...um, make yourself comfortable, I guess." Nathan exited the kitchen and living area. Haley picked herself off her leaning position into the island. She wandered off to the old couch. She streched out and buried her self in the famailar love seat. The same secure smell raised from the fabric. She let out a heavy and deep breath while letting the couch surround her.

Nathan reentered the living area to see Haley resting on the couch. A relaxed smile sat across her face that was three quaters visible to Nathan. The remained side of her face laid embedded into the couchseat. Nathan squated down onto the balls of his feet. He brushed a stray hair from her angelic face. Every moment he had spent with her was bittersweet. He was forced to deal with his past everyday and now it wasn't going to be forced into the back of his mind as usual. He shifted the box in his right hand and rested it behind him.

"You have no idea how much I love you right now Hales." He whispered in muttered sounds to the silence.

Peyton walked through the boutique doors still slightly shooken from the past events. Brooke looked up from her moment of sketching to see her best friend in a daze. She dropped her things and rushed to her side. "P.Sawyer, what happened? Who died?" Brooke wrapped her arms around her friend's skinny frame.

"Jenny." She weeped.

Nathan supported Haley's petite figure as he lifted from his knees. He suppressed the dreams he had experienced of carrying Haley to his home after finding her. He never believed she had willingly left him. Part of him hoped that she had been forced to leave her life. That would be the only logical explanation for all his sudden pain. He cradled her head as he steadily walked to his bedroom. He pushed the covers to the side as he rested Haley's body in a slow and even movement down towards the bed. She stirred at the immediate change in scenary. She cradled her head in a pillow and turned her body into her famaliar grove of the bed she had long since resided in. His hand smoothed her hair softly. It still felt like silk. "You have no idea." He whispered from his lips.

"I know Jenny died years ago Peyton but you have to move on." Brooke soothed her friend.

"No No.." Peyton shook her head. "I was visiting Jenny and Jake showed up. We talked...sort of. I never knew he was back in town."

"It's okay Peyton." Brooke started

"He said he was sorry"

Haley's eyes fluttered open slowly. Nathan didn't noticed and continued to admire her in a daze. Haley saw the love and passion filled in his eyes. She remembered his old spirit and his love that still seemed to live on. She rested her eyes shut lightly trying to pretend to be sleeping.

"Oh God, I love you so much. I just hanging on for hope that it still measures up."

"He did? He forgave you? That's so great." Brooke hugged her friend tight and swung from side to side in the embrace. "How do you feel?" She stepped back and rested her hands on her best friend's shoulders.

Peyton shurgged her shoulders in confusion. "I just, I got what I always wanted. I just hope we can cope with what we are now."

"What are you exactly?" Brooke asked getting excited.

"Friends I hope." Peyton wished.

Haley remained in her faux sleeping state as Nathan's words melted her heart. How could she be so heartless? What took her so long? It wasn't like she was hiding an illegimate child. All Nathan had ever been was her unconditional loving soul mate and she had abused his heart repeatidly.

"Nathan, I can feel it." Haley whispered as Nathan froze his hand that rested on her hair. Her eyes opened wide as she lifted herself off the bed and closer to Nathan. Falling into his lips.


End file.
